Attending a live, stage performance is different from going to a movie or sporting event. One is casual with a come and go atmosphere, the other is more formal with certain rules you need to know and follow if you don’t want to embarrass your piano kid or yourself.
Before the Concert
Performance Preparation – make sure you are ready to present a nice gift to the audience. I tell my students the performance is not for them, it is a gift for the listeners. Sometimes this helps relieve some of their performance anxiety. If you are prepared and know your piece inside and out, you will feel more confident to give your audience a beautiful performance. Does your teacher require your recital piece to be memorized? Work diligently to meet their expectations. Make sure you know your piece accurately and have memorized it fully so you can perform it confidently at the recital.
For more details about dealing with performance anxiety, listen to PPP076.
Dress for Success – make sure you practice performing your piece while wearing the clothes you will wear at the recital. You want to look nice, yes, but you also need to feel comfortable in your clothes. You don’t want your mind distracted from thinking about your piece because your headband is giving you a headache or your tie is so tight you can’t breathe. Guys, check your jacket to make sure you still have full movement of your arms when you play the piano. Girls, can you use the pedals well with those shoes? If not, find something that will work for you, not against you.
For more details about concert attire, listen to PPP028.
Arrive Early – Piano Parents, unless your piano kid is driving themselves to the recital, you have total control and responsibility for helping your child arrive early so they (and you) are not stressed out before you ever get to the venue. Your child has enough to be nervous about without hearing you bark at slow cars on the road.
Give your piano kid a peaceful drive. Give them time to get a drink of water and visit the restroom before they have to find their seat.
During the Concert
No distractions – no talking or fidgeting. You don’t want to distract the performer or those who came specifically to hear them play. If you are holding a program or your music, keep it still and quiet.
At the beginning of my spring recital, I tell my families to silence any cell phones, electronic devices, and small children. It’s a corny joke but it’s still a good reminder. Put your phone on silent, and be considerate of those around you if you have small children. Sit toward the back of the room, close to the aisle. Be prepared to make a quick and quiet exit if your child starts to cause a distraction.
Normally, during formal concerts, the performers should not leave at all and audience members should only exit or enter between performances while the audience is applauding. In the case of an unhappy child, however, get out quickly with as little distraction as possible.
Give the performer your attention – this is closely related to the no distractions rule but slightly different. Not talking and paying attention are not exactly the same thing. Listen with your eyes. Look at the performer. Pay attention to the music they are making. Make mental notes of compliments you can give them after the recital.
Applaud politely when their piece is finished – this has two aims:
1. Even if the performer completely bombed their song, you still give them applause for the courage they exhibited just walking to the piano.
2. Applauding politely means that you simply clap your hands. Piano Parents, when your son or daughter scores points in the big game, you are welcome to hoot and holler, maybe even whistle. When they finish performing their piece, you simply clap your hands. No need for loud whistles in the concert hall.
When it’s your turn to play – walk calmly and confidently to the piano and follow the instructions your teacher has given you. Take your time adjusting the bench and making sure you are comfortable at the piano. This is your moment. Don’t rush into your music. Give yourself time to mentally prepare for the correct placement of your hands and the correct tempo of your piece. Don’t let your nerves trick you into playing faster than your fingers have practiced.
Keep your mind engaged. Mentally prepare for each note and phrase. Be in control of how your hands move on the piano keys, not surprised that they found the correct notes to play.
When your piece is finished, gently place your hands in your lap. This is the audience’s cue to clap. Once the audience begins to clap, stand and face them and give them a bow. This is the performer’s way of saying, “Thank you for listening to me.” The applause of the audience is like a compliment telling you, “Way to go!” “You did a great job!”. Any compliment should be followed by a good thank you.
When your part of the program is done, you are still not done – keep listening to the other performers. Give them your full attention. Piano parent, just because your kid has played doesn’t mean you should stop listening. Notice how the more advanced students handle themselves. Listen to their music, are these pieces your child will want to play in the future? Appreciate the hours of practice this performance demonstrates.
After the Concert
Hang around for a few minutes. Piano kid, give the other performers a compliment. Tell them something specific you enjoyed about their piece.
Piano parents, let your piano kid hear you complimenting another student or their parent. Your child will learn how to praise others by following your example. By all means, keep negative comments to yourself. Concerts and recitals are meant to be a positive, enjoyable experience. Find some way to genuinely compliment the performers. Even if their music wasn’t your personal taste, you can still appreciate the effort and execution at the piano.
Thank your teacher. Recitals are often the biggest event a teacher will organize during the year. Let them know you appreciate their work and the things they’ve helped your piano kid achieve.
Final Thoughts
Attending formal concerts is a great activity for families to enjoy together, especially if one of the performers is your own piano kid. Using your manners at these concerts is a valuable life skill that will serve you well in the future.
Thank you for listening to this podcast today and thank you for the attentive listening you will give the performers at the next concert you attend.
I appreciate this iTunes review from Jason “The demands of parenting can feel like it’s a one-way street when supporting your children. So much emotion and work goes into every day and largely unrecognized. Shelly really gets it and I’m so glad she has put this podcast together. Really direct and supportive show.”
Shout-Out: to all the students who just completed their Fall Into Music Practice Challenge in September. I’ve enjoyed seeing your pictures on Instagram and I’m super proud of you and your hard work.
I know some teachers have gotten their challenge kit but have decided to wait until October or November to share it with their students. Great idea! The kit can be used anytime during the fall and it can be reused again next year.
If you haven’t gotten your home or studio practice kit, you can get all the details at www.pianoparentpodcast.com/fallintomusic.
Thanks for listening!
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