PPP108: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Sometimes, through social media, we only see the perfectly positive perception that others portray. On this podcast and on my social media channels, I hope to be honest and upfront with you.

A piano family broke up with me last week. I can only speak from my point of view and I will do that in the kindest way possible because… 

I want to learn. 

I want to help you (piano teacher and piano parent) avoid common mistakes. 

I want to resume a relationship with this family if they choose to. 

Anything I say here I will be very careful to give them the respect and kindness they deserve. I would not be ashamed if this mom heard this episode.

Listen to the full episode here

Three lessons I learned:

1. I need to nurture my piano families more.

    • I was on autopilot with this family

I saw the signs – lack of practice, last minute recital prep, late arrivals

They seemed frazzled during the summer session

    • A phone call would have gone a long way. It would have been better than fragmented conversations after lesson or trying to communicate through text messages.

I didn’t follow up with they didn’t send in the fall registration information

This mom needed encouragement mom to mom more than she needed a piano teacher.

  • Moving forward I will be more proactive to nurture struggling families.

2. I need to communicate my policies and stand by them more firmly.

    • This mom asked about skipping a week between lessons

From experience, I know this is not a good model for children. Adults, maybe, but children need more structure than that. Skipping weeks results in:

Procrastination (We talked about this in last week’s episode)

Poor progress

I still agreed to allow skipping lessons

    • She missed the registration deadline.

I often allow longstanding parents to sign up late so missing the deadline wasn’t really a problem but I should have contacted her to see what was going on.

    • Moving forward, I think grace gets you farther than rules so I should be in touch to see what’s going on and how I can help.

3. I need to be more intentional with my student’s pieces.

    • These students were eager to play bigger pieces so they would jump ahead in their book
    • Their mom was eager for them to be engaged in home practice and she hoped playing familiar songs would facilitate that. She would request certain songs and I would try to comply.

These aren’t bad things but I need to maintain better control over the path my students follow.

    • As a result, they missed key concepts and fundamental technical skills.

They were not satisfied playing the “baby” pieces

They lacked the skills  to play the harder pieces.

    • Moving forward, I plan to have selections of music that will appeal to students who are eager to play big pieces but aren’t quite capable to handle them yet.

Final thoughts

One of the things I love most about my job is that I’m always learning and trying to do better. I learn from my families – probably more than their piano kids learn from me. I’m disappointed to lose this family but I think it may be the best solution for the time being. I wish them well and will welcome them into my studio with open arms if they choose to return.

What lessons have you learned through difficult situations? Share them in the comments below.

Thanks for listening!

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